The Cry Hole™

💧   You’re having one of those days where life decides to punch you right in the twot 

💧   Your life is spiraling down the crapper faster than you can say “FML ”

💧   Your partner is being a total douchè-canoe

OR your love life is as dry as a desert ~tumbleweeds rolling through~

💧   Your bank account is laughing at you

—– ♡

It’s the kind of day where you just want to let it all out

BUT you also don’t want to subject innocent bystanders to your ugly-cry, puffy-eyed, snot-covered mess of a face

Enter the Cry Hole™

—–♡

Without judgment or repercussions

Like a therapy session

But without the price tag & awkward small talk

This genius invention, is a hole in the wall (literally) 

Where you can…. errm, release all the pent-up emotions 👀

—–♡

Now, you might be wondering

“Why the hell would I cry into a hole?” 

—–♡

Well the Cry Hole™ is not just any ordinary hole 🕳

Your salty droplets are converted into a premium-grade essence

That can be used for various purposes:

💦 Like facials 👀 nourishing your skin with your sorrowful nectar 

💦 Creating artisanal cocktails 🍸 

💦 Or even for bottling and selling to people 💲💰

——♡

Need a place to stash your overdue bills?

Embarrassing childhood photos?

Or cringe-worthy diary entries? 

Just slide them right on into the Cry Hole™

Let the void devour them like a hungry monster

Marie Kondo-ing your emotional baggage

Only it’s more satisfying….

And less likely to end up on a viral Tik Tok video that you will never live down

—–♡

Now, we know what you’re thinking – 

“Where can I get my hands on this marvelous invention?” 

Unfortunately, the Cry Hole™ is not yet available for mass production

Our team of inventors is still perfecting the technology

And figuring out how to monetise the tears of the masses

—–♡

We believe that someday, the Cry Hole™ will be as common as a toaster or a selfie stick

𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙙𝙖𝙮 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙨, 𝙬𝙚’𝙡𝙡 𝙜𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖 𝙝𝙤𝙡𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙜𝙚𝙩

And will also be there to offer you a tissue