I’m basically a caffeine-dependent lifeform
Think of me as a human coffee pot
If I am not filled with coffee
I am basically a glorified paper weight
Five cups of coffee and a couple of energy drinks were keeping my brain from turning into scrambled eggs
Without my daily fix
It’s just me, trying not to drop dead in the middle of a beach
It took me 6 days to figure out why I felt like I was dying….
—-☕️
“Holiday” is just a fancy term for:
“You’re still a parent, but now you’re doing it whilst sweating your ass off”
Also, you’d think I’d be able to find a decent meal here for a six year old here, but no!
The only thing that’s getting devoured is my sanity, one disgusted face at a time
And the sun
That big, flaming ball of misery…
Yes, it’s great for getting the tan
Too bad it’s also trying to roast my very pale child like marshmallows at a bonfire
So, I slather on the suncream like I’m prepping for a nuclear fallout
Only to have my kid promptly wipe it off in protest
Sunscreen? Pfft, who needs that?
—–☕️
May the caffeine gods smile upon me and direct me to a Starbucks
If not, I might just start brewing my own coffee from the shells of these godforsaken coconuts 🥥🥥
Until then, I’ll be over here, trying to convince my kid that eating sand is not a food group…
And praying for the sweet embrace of my beloved Venti Quadruple Shot Organic Supercharged Blended Coconut Milk Extra Caffeine Mega Caramel Venti Double Shot of Pure Energy with Extra Whipped Cream and a Side of Happiness…
Curly Linguist Content 