1. Flawless Skin:

Who needs skincare routines and expensive moisturisers when AI can magically erase every blemish? Say goodbye to the days of waking up with a surprise pimple; AI will ensure your skin is as smooth as a baby’s bottom, even if it’s not entirely realistic.

2. Perfect Lighting:

Gone are the days of struggling to find the right angle and lighting for a flattering selfie. AI will make sure you’re always bathed in the perfect glow, even if you’re hiding in a dimly lit cave. Who needs natural light when you have artificial intelligence?

3. Artistic Transformation:

With AI-generated portraits, you can transform yourself into a work of art. Go from a regular basic bitch to a Renaissance masterpiece. Who needs talent and years of practice when you have AI?

4. The Beauty Standard Arms Race:

As if the beauty standards weren’t high enough, AI takes them to unattainable heights. Now, we’re not only competing with each other but also with our own digitally altered creations.

5. The Death of Authenticity:

Remember when a filter was just a fun way to spice up your photos? Well, AI has taken it to a whole new level. Now we’re left wondering if our AI-generated selves are even recognisable in the real world. Are we becoming AI’s puppets, or is this just the natural evolution of our self-perception?

AI-generated portraits have certainly changed the way we see ourselves.

From flawless skin to perfect lighting and the ability to transform into artistic masterpieces, AI is revolutionising our self-perception.

Remember that true beauty lies in our unique imperfections.

Embrace the fun and creativity that AI brings to our selfies, but not let it define our self-worth.

After all, nothing beats the real, imperfect, and wonderfully human version of ourselves.

Life has its way of surprising us, often in the most unexpected places. For me, that place turned out to be LinkedIn, the professional networking platform that I initially approached with a vanilla mindset. Little did I know that the content created by the two individuals, would have a profound impact on my life.

As I scrolled through LinkedIn, I stumbled upon Luke Matthews and Brock Pierson’s content, and something about their humour and creativity caught my attention. They weren’t afraid to have a laugh and create interesting and entertaining posts. But it was Brock’s “Stealing Luke’s Followers” campaign that sparked my creative mind and gave me the confidence to be myself.

It’s funny how a simple campaign can trigger a transformation. Brock’s audacity to be himself inspired me to shed the mask of conformity and embrace my authentic self. I realised that I didn’t have to conform to the professional expectations or be afraid of being judged. For better or worse, I decided to just be me, one inappropriate comment at a time.

Little did I know that this newfound confidence would be the catalyst for a much-needed change in my life. The financial freedom I gained through my LinkedIn journey, coupled with the unwavering support and encouragement from the incredible community on this platform, empowered me to break free from an extremely toxic relationship and living situation.

Although the journey is ongoing, I can proudly say that I am now safe, happier, and more confident. But the most precious gift that this transformation has brought me is the well-being of my little girl. She is the driving force behind my determination to create a better life for both of us.

I am forever grateful to Luke and Brock for unintentionally becoming the catalysts for change in my life. Their ability to create a space where authenticity and humour thrive has had an immeasurable impact on me and countless others. As I continue to grow and evolve, I am excited for what the future holds, armed with the knowledge that being true to yourself is a powerful tool for personal transformation.

We all have our mischievous side, don’t we? But there’s one skill that I possess that might surprise you – restraint. Yes, you heard it right! I know, shocking, isn’t it? However, let me clarify what I mean.

Restraint doesn’t mean suppressing your personality, opinions, or sense of humour. It’s about understanding how far you can push certain people and situations without offending them. And trust me, it’s a skill that some people seem to lack.

As a former shy child, I spent a lot of time observing people and assessing situations before jumping in. I quickly learned the art of reading a room. It’s like having a sixth sense for judging someone’s comfort zone and knowing just how far you can push them without crossing the line.

This talent comes in handy not only for indulging in a bit of cheekiness but also for defusing tense situations. But that’s a story for another time…

When it comes to social media, especially in a community-building setting, being aware of people’s personalities and how their comments reflect on their brand is crucial.

Some individuals may never feel comfortable joining in the humorous and risky side of content creation. It could be due to their personal preference, brand image, or even their own personality traits.

And that’s perfectly fine. We need to respect their boundaries.

Now, this doesn’t mean they get a free pass to say or do whatever they want. We should still hold them accountable for their actions if they are engaging in douchebaggery. However, when responding to them, it’s important to be respectful of their style and tone, regardless of differing opinions. Even in disagreement, a level of respect can be maintained.

On the flip side, if you have an audience that embraces your silly behaviour, it’s important to gauge their level of involvement. Some people simply enjoy being bystanders, and that’s okay, too. Let them enjoy the show in their own way.

On the other hand, there will be those who are all in, ready to join the fun and games. For them, go all out and create an experience they’ll remember forever; and tell their therapist about for years to come.

But remember, it’s not always about being funny and playing silly games on social media. Behind the humour, there’s a need for sensitivity and understanding.

Let’s navigate these virtual rooms with tact, wit, and a dash of humour, making sure to respect others’ boundaries while embracing the joy of community building.

And that, my peeps, is the art of reading a room.

10 pieces of advice I would impart on my past self:

1. Don’t bother studying, you’ll never need that knowledge anyway. Why waste your time learning about history, science, or math when you can just Google everything? Who needs critical thinking skills anyway?

2. Always trust your gut, even if it’s telling you to do something really stupid. That little voice inside your head is always right, even if it’s telling you to jump off a bridge. Just go for it!

3. Money is overrated, just spend it all on useless things and live in the moment. Who needs savings accounts, retirement plans, or financial stability? YOLO, amirite?

4. Ignore your health, you’re invincible and nothing bad will ever happen to you. Eat as much junk food as you want, never exercise, and never go to the doctor. That’s the key to a long and healthy life.

5. Never apologize, even when you’re clearly in the wrong. It’s a sign of weakness. Just deflect, blame others, or make up excuses. Your ego is more important than admitting fault.

6. Burn bridges with everyone you meet, you don’t need anyone but yourself. Who needs friends, family, or colleagues when you can just be a lone wolf? It’s not like networking or building relationships is important for success or anything.

7. Procrastination is your friend, deadlines are just suggestions. Why do today what you can easily put off until tomorrow? It’s not like deadlines exist for a reason or anything.

8. Take out as many loans as possible, debt is just a part of life. Credit card debt, student loans, car loans, mortgage loans – the more the merrier! Who needs financial stability or the ability to buy a house or retire when you can be drowning in debt instead?

9. Blame others for your mistakes, it’s easier than taking responsibility. It’s always someone else’s fault, never yours. Even if you were the one who messed up, just find a scapegoat and pin the blame on them.

10. Never take risks, stay in your comfort zone and avoid any chance of failure! Why try new things, take on challenges, or pursue your dreams when you can just stay in your cozy little bubble of mediocrity? It’s not like growth or personal development is important or anything.

As I sit here scrolling through Facebook, I’m filled with a sense of emptiness. Seeing the people I grew up with living their “perfect” lives – married, having babies, and buying houses – makes me feel like I’ve been left behind.

I had everything I ever wanted, but it was all taken away from me because I trusted and loved the wrong person. The version of them that I fell in love with never actually existed. It was all a lie.

Now, I feel lost and alone. Although I know that social media is just a highlight reel, it’s hard not to feel jealous of the seemingly perfect lives of others. All I ever wanted was to have a family, a home, a dog, and someone to grow old with.

I’ve never been someone who was overly career-focused. While I am fully capable and have been successful, my heart has always been with my family. I wanted to stay at home and raise our children, to fuss over them, and to love them all to death.

Although I’m grateful for my beautiful daughter and the family of two that we’ve built together, I feel cheated. Every part of my pregnancy and my little girl’s early life has been overshadowed by the past. I’ll never see my beloved dog again, and the house I wanted is now a toxic place I can never return to. Filled with my belongings, I will never see again.

I know that I should be grateful for what I have. But it’s hard to let go of a dream that I’ve had since I was a child. Life can be so unfair sometimes.

Still, I refuse to give up hope. I know that I deserve to find love, despite the hurt that I’ve experienced. Hope is all that I have left, and I’ll cling to it tightly.

One day, I’ll find someone to grow old with. I’ll find a love that is real and true. Until then, I’ll keep dreaming and working towards my new goals. Life may be unfair, but I won’t let it defeat me.

Although it may seem like the end of the world, there is always hope. We can overcome our struggles and find happiness once again.

They say the eyes are the windows to the soul, but in the age of social media, it seems like we’re more interested in the windows to our smartphones. We hide behind filters and carefully curated feeds, afraid to show our true selves to the world. We obsess over the perfect angle, the perfect lighting, the perfect smile, but what about the eyes?

The eyes are not just a physical feature; they are a metaphor for the depth and complexity of our inner selves. They reflect our emotions, our thoughts, our hopes and fears. When we look into someone’s eyes, we can sense their energy and connect with them on a deeper level. But in the world of selfies, the eyes are often overlooked in favour of the superficial.

We’ve become so obsessed with presenting a perfect image that we forget that true beauty lies in our imperfections. The crinkles around our eyes when we smile, the bags under our eyes from lack of sleep, the wrinkles that tell the story of our lives. These are the things that make us human, that make us unique, that make us beautiful.

So next time you take a selfie, take a moment to really look into your own eyes. What do they say about you? What kind of energy do they project? Are they kind eyes, wise eyes, mischievous eyes? Remember that the eyes are the windows to your soul, and don’t be afraid to let your true self shine through.

It’s time to face the facts, humans: dogs are superior beings and should be ruling the world.

Here are just a few reasons why we should all bow down to our four-legged overlords:

1. Dogs are always happy to see you. Unlike humans who have the audacity to live their own lives, dogs are always eagerly waiting for your return. Who needs personal space when you have a slobbering, tail-wagging ball of love following you around?

2. They have no taste in food. While we humans are busy being picky about what we eat and complaining about our diets, dogs will happily eat anything you put in front of them. Mouldy bread? Delicious. Old socks? Yum. We should all aspire to be as non-discriminating in our culinary choices.

3. Dogs are great at listening. Sure, they may not actually understand what we’re saying, but they’ll sit there and listen to us rant and rave about our problems without judgment. Can your human friends say the same? I don’t think so.

4. They’re social media experts. Dogs dominate the internet with their adorable photos and videos. They know exactly what the people want, and they deliver it in spades. We humans could learn a thing or two from their social media savvy.

5. They’re the best therapists. Dogs are always there to comfort us when we’re feeling down. They don’t charge for their services, and they never judge us for our problems. Move over, Dr. Phil, there’s a new therapist in town.

6. Dogs never hold a grudge. Even when we yell at them for eating our shoes or digging up the garden, dogs always forgive and forget. We humans could learn a thing or two from their forgiveness and compassion. Can we say the same about our exes?

7. They don’t care about your TV choices. Go ahead and binge-watch that trashy reality show. Your dog won’t judge you for it. In fact, they’ll probably curl up next to you and enjoy the show along with you.

8. Dogs are always up for plans. Unlike flaky humans who cancel plans at the last minute, dogs are always ready to hang out and have a good time. They don’t care what you’re doing, as long as they’re by your side.

9. They’re great politicians. Let’s face it, dogs would make much better leaders than most of the humans currently in power. They’re loyal and compassionate, and they always have our best interests at heart. #dogforprimeminister

10. Dogs are just plain adorable. From their wagging tails to their wet noses, dogs are simply irresistible. They remind us that sometimes the simplest things in life are the most beautiful. Who needs a fancy car or designer clothes when you have a cuddly pup by your side?

In conclusion, it’s time to hand over the reins to our furry friends. Dogs are clearly superior to us humans in every way possible. Let’s all just bow down to our new canine rulers.

I’m not here to redesign your entire brand or lovingly stroke your logo

What I do is copy and graphics that actually get people to stop, stare, laugh, argue, or accidentally send your post to someone while saying “LOOK AT THIS”

Most social content is limp
Overthought
Terrified of being disliked

Written in that weird professional dialect where everyone sounds like they’re wearing loafers and emotional repression

I don’t do that
I write copy that sounds like a human with opinions
Sharp, funny, occasionally filthy (contextually)

The kind of words that make people go “oh for fuck’s sake” and keep reading anyway

The graphics?
Scroll-stopping, slightly chaotic, designed to do one job: get attention

Not win design awards
Not be framed on a wall
Just work

This is social media
It’s here today, gone tomorrow

If you’re treating every post like it needs to live in the British Museum, you’re already losing

I generate ideas fast
I turn them into graphics faster
I pair them with copy that knows exactly what it’s doing

Perfect for:

– Posts that flirt with controversy
– Opinions that make the right people nod and the wrong people foam
– Brands who understand that attention beats politeness
– Anyone sick of posting “value” content that gets three likes and a pity comment

I’m not here to play safe
I’m here to make people look twice

If your content feels stiff, bland, or like it’s apologising for existing… slide into my DMs

Let’s give it some personality
Some bite

Copy and graphics

No edging
Just results

What a whirlwind week it has been to be a woman in the vast expanse of the Internet.

It feels as though I’ve been tossed into a den of voracious wolves, armed with nothing but a toothpick for self-defense.

Amidst the chaos, the grim reality of privacy invasion, vile threats, and the never-ending battle against harassment.

So, what sparked this pandemonium? It was nothing more than me asserting my boundaries.

How audacious, right?

But fear not, for in the face of adversity, I stand tall, refusing to be silenced.

This is my platform, and I’m not just surviving; I’m thriving!

Unveiling the Privacy Invasion:

In this tumultuous digital realm, personal information and treasured images are snatched away from us with callous disregard. It’s a violation that leaves us feeling robbed of our privacy and shaken to the core.

Unmasking the Dark Side:

As if privacy invasion weren’t enough, let us not forget the icing on this bitter cake: death threats. Yes, you read that correctly. Actual death threats. It’s like a grotesque game of “kill the messenger,” except the messenger has done nothing wrong.

The audacity! But when it comes to protecting fragile male egos, who needs respect and consent, anyway?

Courage in the Face of Adversity:

In the midst of this attack, I approached the situation with the grace of an adult, speaking in a respectful manner. Trust me, that took a considerable effort.

But alas, such magnanimity is apparently too much for some to handle. Instead, I find myself in the crosshairs of abuse, with my Twitter account on lockdown and drowning in a sea of negativity.

The Temptation to Retreat:

Oh, how tempting it is to consider abandoning the internet and to seek blissful solitude. But upon reflection, I realized two vital truths:

a.) I’m not particularly adept at functioning alone and unsupervised, and

b.) boredom lurks around every corner.

And let’s not forget the most important reason: giving in to the troll is simply not an option.

Refusing to Be Silenced:

So here I stand, unwavering and resolute, refusing to let the troll emerge victorious. Despite the challenges and the temptation to retreat, I am still standing, still fighting.

Women on the internet are not mere survivors; we are resilient warriors who navigate the storms with grace, strength, and unwavering determination. We handle whatever comes our way, and we shall not be silenced.

Conclusion:

In this wild online world, where wolves roam freely, we women have had to become fierce and unyielding. Assert our boundaries, demand respect, and refuse to back down.

Let us continue to navigate the digital landscape with courage, solidarity, and unshakable resolve. Together, we are an unstoppable force, proving that we can handle anything that comes our way.

The Internet is ours to conquer.